Where are we going and what's up with the handbasket?

a minor rant...

I am part of a small Episcopal church in the Los Angeles area and being "orthodox" in my faith --which means I believe the Bible, I believe Jesus is The Way, The Truth, and The Life and no one comes to the Father but through Him, and if He wants to widen that gate, I have no problem with it, but I become very nervous when people purporting to speak for Him widen the gate-- I have watched with interest the activities of TEC (The Episcopal Church, a part of the Anglican communion worldwide) and was amazed when a practicing homosexual was elected bishop in New Hampshire (2003) and then shocked when the House of Bishops confirmed him to that position in 2004 after Lambeth 1998 confirmed Biblical standards for sexual activity (basically that God blesses sexual relations within the constraints of Holy Matrimony, which is by definition a man and a woman: two adults, one of each sex; if one is not called to marriage one is to live a celibate life) and our Presiding Bishop agreed. So the action of both the Diocese of New Hampshire and the subsequent appoval by the House of Bishops were out of line with Resolution 1.10.

Personally I don't care what one's sexual proclivities are, as long as one is dealing with consenting adult humans; I'd prefer that the Bible be a little more "forward thinking" in its view of human sexuality. I was greatly distressed when I really came face-to-face with the fact that the scriptures have an opinion (a very negative one, *sigh*) on sex outside of marriage; that cut deeply into my personal behavior, so in my early twenties I had to decide whether I was simply going to pay lip-service to an empty gospel or if I was going to actually try to live as it exhorts us to live. I chose the latter: with greatest reluctance I asked my lover to move out and I became celibate (until I married, but that's a whole other rant). One thing I can tell you for sure: the Bible isn't politically correct.

I grew up in a small Methodist church in Hollywood; I was quite used to ministers who didn't actually believe the Bible. And, for reasons too long and arcane to go into here, neither did I - but I came around and realized that Christianity is not a buffet where you can take what you like and leave the rest; thus I began the long and arduous process of armwrestling with God (cut to the chase: He wins). So the experience of taking my faith more seriously than the people who are being paid to promote and protect that faith is par for the course - but I wish it was otherwise.

I think of Paul, who wrote: "I wish that you would bear with me in a little foolishness; but indeed you are bearing with me. For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin. But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ. For if one comes and preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted, you bear this beautifully." (2 Corinthians 11:1-4)

I am encouraged that there is some small outrage in America as TEC preaches an increasingly different gospel; I am more encouraged that the largest provinces within the Anglican communion are orthodox in their belief and their outrage is wonderful and righteous. I hope that a way will be made for orthodox Anglicans within TEC to join in pronouncing the gospel of Christ, to walk with believers and bishops who are more concerned with being faithful ministers of the Word and Sacraments than they are concerned with being politically correct. I wait prayerfully and patiently.

So I watch the current gathering of the Primates (the 38 highest leaders of the Anglican communion worldwide) in Tanzania and pray that truth is not compromised to political expediency, that they would rejoice to see the plumbline of the LORD in the hand of Zerubabbel.

The response of the Anglican communion to the actions of TEC was assembled as the Windsor Report and it seeks certain acts of reconciliation for TEC to continue walking in communion with the rest of Anglicans worldwide (to avoid schism, currently a precipice over which we dangle); specifically it calls for The Episcopal Church as a corporate body to express its regret that the proper constraints of the bonds of affection were breached in the events surrounding the election and consecration of a bishop for the See of New Hampshire, and for the consequences which followed, and that such an expression of regret would represent the desire of The Episcopal Church to remain within the Communion; that the bishops who took part in Gene Robinson’s episcopal consecration, pending such expression of regret, should be invited to consider in all conscience whether they should withdraw themselves from representative functions in the Anglican Communion; and that The Episcopal Church be invited to effect a moratorium on the election and consent to the consecration of any candidate to the episcopate who is living in a same gender union until some new consensus in the Anglican Communion emerges; likewise it called for a moratorium on all such public Rites (the blessing of same-sex unions), and recommend that bishops who have authorised such rites in the United States and Canada be invited to express regret that the proper constraints of the bonds of affection were breached by such authorisation. Pending such expression of regret, it recommends that such bishops be invited to consider in all conscience whether they should withdraw themselves from representative functions in the Anglican Communion.

So - after TEC (now under 1 million members) vastly oversteps its authority as a member of the Anglican communion and thus attempts to compel all the other parts of the Anglican communion (over 77 million members) to accept TEC's position on human sexuality (rather than Lambeth's position in 1998, with which TEC agreed), TEC has been called to make nice and stop consecrating same-sex unions and ordaining practicing homosexuals as priests. TEC hasn't stopped the behaviors and the "making nice" part has been, imho, disingenuous.

I am embarassed by the arrogance of the American church. Instead of repentance, "we did wrong and we are sorry; we will not do it again," a carefully choreographed tap-dance was offered, a 'we regret you took offense' kind of sleight of hand. Essentially, 'what's wrong with you backward people that you can't see that we Americans know better than you? Stop being offended and get with the program! You know it's going to happen sooner or later.' A churchly equivalent of "lie back and think of England--"

There is such narcissism in the American church: it's all about us, about our rights and privileges and how dare anyone ask that we not exercise a freedom for the sake of a brother or sister in Christ. Never mind that those brothers and sisters are living in very different cultures, bumping up against Sharia law, and being linked with the excesses of TEC literally threatens lives.

I think of Paul, in 1 Corinthians 6:1-12 mourning: "Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous and not before the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? If the world is judged by you, are you not competent to constitute the smallest law courts? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more matters of this life? So if you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church? I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren, but brother goes to law with brother, and that before unbelievers? Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? On the contrary, you yourselves wrong and defraud. You do this even to your brethren. Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything."

"Why not rather be wronged?" If the Episcopal church is right in all of this, why not take the genuine moral high ground and give parishes freedom to leave, taking their property (which they have purchased, improved, and maintained throughout the years) with them? Why act with such violence as to sue individual vestry members? This is not the behavior of a God-fearing, freedom-embracing church, but rather the behavior of a group bound and determined to go their own way, outraged and offended when someone holds to Biblical standards and calls them on dancing down the slippery slope.

Paul grieved when he saw the churches he mid-wifed straying from the gospel of Christ. Paul was shocked when the Corinthians had become so inclusive as to embrace a man living with his father's wife; he set them straight and exhorted them to chuck the fellow out, to "hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord" (1 Corinthians 5:5) and then in the next book Paul instructs them to receive the repentant brother back into the church community, lest "such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow." (2 Corinthians 2:7)

The church is supposed to challenge us in our sin, not simply commiserate and say, "yeah, it's hard to live a righteous life." YES, it IS hard to live a righteous life - but we are called to make every effort.

If we do not hold to Biblical standards, what standards embrace? On what basis do we reject scripture and replace it with our own contemporary opinions? This is the church of what's happening now, riding the crest of the current trend and the current wave and about to smash into the eternal rocks on the shoreline.

The new Presiding Bishop Katharine Schori refuses to "waver in her stand for justice and inclusion of all people in the body of Christ.”

Has she missed the point that the gospel of Christ is a gospel of grace, not justice? Is she actually asking for justice rather than grace? I hope not. Believe me, none of us want justice if we're offered mercy. Has she forgotten that Jesus doesn't preach an inclusive gospel? He says, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.'" (Matthew 7:21-23; emphasis in the original).

On what basis do we receive the grace of God? By the atonement; by the perfect and precious Blood of Jesus, God incarnate, poured out for our sake. I know that there are many universalists who believe in Jesus (and I don't think believing that everyone will be saved is the unforgivable sin) but the Bible appears to teach otherwise. We stand on very dangerous ground when we rewrite scripture and widen the very gates that Jesus Himself described as "narrow" - it may be, at that point, that we've stopped standing within the gates at all. The broad way leads to a very different place.

Conjecture's Exquisite Corpses

Down at Conjecture 5 in San Diego and Bettina Davis had a "word play" workshop. These things are always fun, at least if you're a "word" person. One of our little exercises was exquisite corpses, where one person writes a sentence, putting the final word of the sentence on a fresh line, and folding the paper over to conceal the rest of the sentence. Next person writes a sentence which starts with the single exposed word, and so on. Some of these were very funny and I'm putting them up here, for general amusement (and in the hopes that I can read everyone's writing - ack!). I will alternate between regular type and italic type and font color changes to indicate change of author.

There were no themes... just a single word (which is sometimes misread by the person following on - and so it goes).

I.
Conventions make for strange bedfellows or even dinner companions who insisted on cooking in your kitchen with your pots and pans, your food and never did the dishes. One, two, three, they were cast across the room like little shot puts and they crashed against the wall. Oh crannied chink! Oh wall, oh wall, oh well... damn, I loathe Shakespeare. Shakespeare knew how to steal a plot and make it his own, or to rewrite history had never been his best subject; he wanted to take the textbook and throw it out the window or at his teacher's head and just see what the Principal Skinner. I hated the little bastard and looked forward to the day I could skin him like the rat turds! These are not capers, they are rat turds belong in the litter box, I explained to Angus, but the orange tabby ignored me and carried on with his grooming the cat always resulted in scratches and blood and a trip to the emergency room, but I wished I had three pigs to trade at the county fair.

II.
My daughter was stung by a jellyfish drift in a dark and silent sea launch is the way most planets launch their shuttle sings through the thread as the beater bar raps the rhythm and blues, rock and roll crackers and cheese and crackers. Preferrably a fine brie served with a side of white grapes, make those grapes seedless waternmelon is a waste. What's the point of nothing to spit out from the artillery-like cannister, mowing down every man is not alone in the universe, but should be true to yourself and you can find real happiness is fleeting but true contentment is the real jewel of a true enlightenment is never easy but it's easier than you think all truth. Feel all love. See all beauty. Intuit all philosophy alone creates no warmth nor value!

III.
Singing the song of praise, I called out to my Lord for salvation. "Salvation is my only hope!" Dolores thought, desperate and fervent prayers were offered up for the first manned mission to Mars as a new home. Nobody wanted to live there without a set of breeches and a canteen filled with sangria. I savored the day I would have these things. The day I would have to you, my love, forever and ever - because, if this ain't love, we are just wasting our time machines are all the rage in Hong Kong, but I don't think they have used enough safety of the ocean, where no man would follow into the ice. But what is a lie, but a permutation of the truth and consequences. Always those damn consequences never go away no matter how many days have past the fact that he couldn't breathe underwater, he slurped the last of his José Cuervo down and so much for cheap, tawdry chorus girls like Ruby Tequila. Damn her and all her ilk!

IV.
"Murder!" she screamed hysterically, rushing into the street car named desire. Wonder what exactly its 'about face' screamed the sergeant to the green recruits woefully under his care and feeding of wild animals was my favorite book of the dead will lead us all to a care (cure?) for immortality is not all it's cracked up to be in books are great fun to read through, very hard to write a meaninful short story in under ninety minutes tick by far too slowly when you want something to happen is as happens will. Frills thought as frill will I never see another spring? The winter-bound trapper muttered to myself about life, the universe, and everything was blown away by the Xenia Tornado of 1972 was a good year; I got my first big girl bicycle freely down the canton, and see the lovely people.

V.
At first, I sought one hundred years of solitude is so relaxing after an afternoon of noisy kids can drive you mad; I dunno if I'm gonna have them stuffed and mounted, hung on the wall so all the world can see their useless flea-bitten hides under the rock. Shine a light; it's never as bad as you think of the true worth of everything and the value of none remained after the devastating storm crashed the coast guard I respect more than most military "divisions and propogations of Bearded Iris will be the subject matter of next week's Garden Club," Sally read from the brochure press kit and publicity photos all promote the star light, star bright, lead me on through starry night offers no promise of repose, but unformed apprehensions about the future can hold you back on my flight home, I paused to open my book for next week's reading Club.

VI.
I wonder what the best video game I played ever was not was, a great underappreciated band of the eighties rock is like totally the best said the boy with big hair is so sexy on women. I think they should wear nothing comes of nothing. Effort must be made to achieve your dreams and you will be "happy birthday dear Bono - happy birthday to you," I sang to the posters in my bedroom eyes beautiful dark brown eyes with long lashes fluttered as she flirted through hallways of men like to think they are the captains of their fate is a lot of bullhonkey, you gotta make "your purpose cannot be often separated from the desire to accomplish great things," Grandma said sagely nodding, the wise old woman had the last laugh.

VII.
The selkie hid her skin in a cleft of rock was hard. I sought it not just to climb but for the challenge really makes the blood boil and a person fire up the grill cuz I'm hungry for some shrimp scampi served with garlic and lemon on a bed of linguine with garlic sauce makes my breath rancid fat is the basis of all true witchcraft; she knows this well at the World's End is a nice title for a rock band aids are evil, but it's better than bleeding hearts are a moisture and shade loving shrub that do well in swampy areas of your garden vegetables are a bunny smorgasbord was a true board of blood and Iron men and streel wills change the course of human events.


whew!

Too Long Gone

I am not a great blogger. I wasn't a great keeper of journals, either. In both cases, I write when I feel compelled to - either something I want to share (a blog) or something I want to wrestle through (a journal).

Right now I'm reading Dante's Inferno for the first time (slowly), along with Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight which is about sensory defensiveness (between that and subtle brain damage, I'm learning a lot about why I'm sooooo weird). Preparing for a trip to Mythcon 37, the annual conference of the Mythopoeic Society, this year in Norman, Oklahoma. And grappling with the stuff of life.

I know, I owe you the rest of my trip report from last year's jaunt to England (Stonehenge and then the Tolkien Conference in Birmingham). And it might be fun to write about my birthday dinner with Tim & Serena Powers, Larry & Marilyn Niven, Karen Anderson, Jimmy Akin, Sue Dawe and Michael Underwood... but not tonight! Suffice it to say we had a GRAND time.

The History of Alcohol

well, in my life!

My parents were tea-totallers (what is the origin of that term, anyway?!), so I didn't have a liquor cabinet to raid (my mom had some cheap cooking sherry that she kept up on a very tall shelf and used every 18 months or so - I knew because, being 3-4" taller, she'd ask me to retrieve it for her).

High school (in the late 60s) there was the crowd that drank a lot of beer and puked at parties (the appeal of which has always mystified me) and the crowd that smoked dope, of which I was a part. So I never even tried alcohol until I was out of high school and jamming w/friends and offered a beer on a hot day (yuck, then; now I probably drink a couple of beers a year - certain foods are very nice with beer) and somebody else was drinking some truly disgusting wine like Boone's Farm Apple and I found that tolerable - so I drank cheap, flavored wine in very small quantities.

I think it was probably at a carbo-loading dinner w/my competitive cyclist boyfriend that I discovered chianti is very nice with pasta, and so I began my explorations of red wine, a voyage I am still enjoying.

I rarely drink when I go out, unless a group of us decide to get a bottle of wine with dinner, because I find a decent red wine is excessively expensive by the glass. I used to go to a lot of clubs to hear bands (and friends) perform and the standard was a cover charge with a two-drink minimum. I would either drink Kahlua-and-cream or Tequila Sunrise; I once had a gin-and-tonic that I really enjoyed at a party, but I've discovered since that gins vary a lot and most of them I don't like. Sometimes I'll have a margarita on the rocks at a Mexican restaurant but I had a bad experience w/tequila that greatly diminished its appeal: one night at The Troubadour (seeing Leo Kottke, as I recall) I had my two Tequila Sunrises, came home, went to bed, woke up with the stomach flu - and the taste associated with it was tequila (as close to a "drunk" experience as I've had). Not good.

Don't misunderstand me, I enjoy that warm glow that a certain amount of alcohol provides, but I don't like where it goes shortly thereafter, which is kind of choppy and sloppy and disoriented. I've had many a long, slow dinner w/friends where we drank a couple of bottles of wine over the course the evening, but it just sort of prolonged the glow (and as long as you keep yourself hydrated, the body processes the alcohol quite well); traveling in Europe I would typically order half a carafe of the local red wine (and cheaper than the Coke my ex- drank continually!) and in English pubs it's usually dry cider (scrumpy, if it's available). I love the way Guinness looks, drawn on tap, like rich chocolate milk, and then it separates into that beautiful dark dark brown with creamy head - but I can't stand the way it tastes (such a disappointment to me--).

At home I'll often have a glass of red wine with dinner, because I like it and because it's good for you (well, me), in reasonable quantities, the whole cholesterol-cutting aspect of it, heart-supporting, etc. I think of red wine as a wonderful accompaniment to food (give me a really big mature red with a medium rare steak and I'm one happy puppy).

When recording, I found a little Southern Comfort was good for keeping the vocal cords relaxed and smooth - but it needs to be a VERY little or you end up with one loose singer, by the end of the session. Pitch gone to hell in a handbasket and timing, what timing?

And, to bring the whole thing full circle, a wealthy German industrialist with a wine-cellar par excellence introduced me to ice wine (botrytis), so while I shudder at the thought of cheap flavored white wine, I delight in a very good dessert wine (with fruit and cheese - yum) - but that's an exceedingly rare indulgence.

General Updatedness

I came down to San Diego for ConDor (this year was ConDor 13, I think - I've done concerts at nearly every one) and for the first time stayed with my Mom in her new location up in Poway, so that put me about half an hour away instead of 8 minutes away. The only alarming thing about this is a particular piece of pavement on the 163, just before the 805 junction, when the finish of the road sounds like a brake squeal - every time it would give me an adrenaline hit until the very last time when I kept repeating, like a mantra, "it's only the road, it's only the road" - so that made me notice where it happens and hopefully I won't continue to react so strongly in the future!

The concert was good fun. The last few concerts I've done I haven't been very pleased with because I really hadn't done any prep and was selecting songs on the fly and perhaps hadn't performed that song for months, and while I was well-received, I knew that I could do better.

There are excuses for all that, of course (--aren't there always?!--) but I knew and it's ultimately me that has to be okay with what I'm doing.

So this time I did better and I'm much more satisfied and the concert was received very enthusiastically. Ah! good.

One of the fun things was debuting a couple of brand new songs: Left Turn Love, which is something of an attempt at a modern Childe Ballad (the last verse even starts, "Come all you tender maidens and heed the words I sing..."); and There Are Three Things, a love song built off Proverbs 30:18-19.

There are three things which are too wonderful for me,

Four which I do not understand:

The way of an eagle in the sky,

The way of a serpent on a rock,

The way of a ship in the middle of the sea,

And the way of a man with a maid.

England Six, Lynn Slow...

So... I left you with the threat of Stonehenge. Our last day at the timeshare we loaded into the car and then wrestled with heavy traffic to Exeter where Michael was picking up his rental car. He'd been grumbling about the size of our rental car, although we needed the room when it was loaded full of us AND our bags, and had reserved something smaller to pick up at Exeter and drop at Birmingham - but when we got to the rental location they offered him a station wagon (!!) - a much BIGGER car than the one we'd been in all week - and he took it (the fool!). Ellie and I shook heads, helped him load his stuff from one car into the other, and then we all drove off with Michael following us.

I kept him in my rear view mirror for at least an hour, through the heavy traffic (school holidays, remember - *sigh*) and then lost him while overtaking some slow vehicles (families towing trailers, or caravans, as the Brits would say). I thought I saw him draw near but that car eventually passed us and it wasn't him (rats!). We'd all planned to go to Stonehenge that day, and his little photographer's heart would have leapt for joy because the sky was wonderful - big dramatic clouds. If you can't be there for magic hour (sunrise, sunset) then dramatic clouds are as good as it gets - but we never saw him there and learned afterwards, when we met up in Birmingham 5 days later, that he was attacked by a bout of good sense and chose to drive on up to the Lake District (a loooonnng haul in one day, especially by British standards, which are smaller, more winding roads than he's used to in California).

But Ellie and I had a grand time slowly walking around the henge and taking a ton of photos (that's what really made me apprciate my digital camera - I must have taken more than 50 shots of Stonehenge and I never had to reload! yay!!!). Here is the official English Heritage site, which has lots of links (they have the management of the location).

We finally hit the road and drove on in to London environs, having finally eluded most of the holiday traffic, and by hit-or-miss (MapQuest leaving a bit to be desired in this instance... quite a large bit, actually) made it to Pat & Trevor's and fed their hungry kitties and schlepped stuff into the house. Pat and Trevor were at the World Science Fiction Convention (up in Glasgow, which I'd planned to go to and then decided I'd prefer to spend that time seeing friends in England and seeing ENGLAND, as opposed to seeing a convention center and a hotel which could be about anywhere, as interesting as Worldcons are) but they kindly lent us use of their home, which freed up a friend who was driving over to feed the cats (Broggy and Kiwi - large brother and smaller sister, both gorgeous black animals).

I think we drove out to an Indian take-away in a nearby community, and crashed pretty early. Next day, Sunday, we slept in, used the computer, started doing laundry, fed cats repeatedly (rather complex directions as they each have special diets!), found a shop where we could buy a little food (having cleverly forgotten it's SUNDAY and even this close to London, the shops don't stay open late - spoiled Americans, I tell you!).

Monday we drove 15 minutes down to Farnham, a charming small city (town?!) full of Georgian architecture, some lovely churches, and a castle which was, sadly, closed that day (*sigh*). We nonetheless had a grand time wandering through the town and eating a pub lunch in a rather "foody" pub - they had a 2 course prix fixe meal that was EXCELLENT plus a special on a bottle of wine - we thoroughly enjoyed that! I learned there is a well-known guitar shop and I walked off in search of it while Ellie went in search of a particular publication and came back to find me tucked into a timbered corner of this great old building, happily playing a VERY nice inexpensive guitar (!!) to maintain my callouses (I hate losing them and having to rebuild them - it hurts!). We walked back and wandered through the Lion and Lamb Yard which was charming - I do like the sculpture!

Tuesday we drove all the way out to Whitstable on the east coast (so we walked beaches on both the utter west and utter east of England, right across it's broadest portion!) - we particularly liked the beach huts - funny little houses. My friend Joan told me that these have sold for some ridiculous figures, especially considering that you can't SLEEP in them! But it was lovely for me to see Joan again (who fed us a scrumptious luncheon) and her now-grown daughter and two grandkids (yay! for grandkids) and then we started the drive back, stopping in nearby
Canterbury (check out more Canterbury shots at this site) and just missing the Cathedral (they closed EARLY, the rats!) but enjoying the grounds for several hours.

When we finally hit the road for home we had a great experience as we topped the rise of a hill and found a hot-air balloon rising majestically (and ENORMOUSLY!) before us - there was an annual ballooning meet the next day - here are some nice shots from a different meet. A rich, full day!

Wednesday we took the train up to London and spent the day riding the Underground, walking through assorted galleries and museums, hanging out in Covent Garden and of course a yummy lunch with wine and finally an evening at the theatre, seeing The Philadelphia Story with Kevin Spacey and Jennifer Ehle at The Old Vic. Lovely, rich day and despite terrorist activity within the previous month, neither of us were fearful (remember how my trip started with a diverted flight, after all!).

Thursday will find us loading out of Pat & Trevor's home and driving up to Birmingham, stopping at Kenilworth Castle on the way. The story of parking and schlepping and returning the car isn't particularly interesting - except that we drove 1,500 miles in less than 10 days, from Rochester to Heathrow, out to Cornwall and Land's End, back by way of Stonehenge and east to Whitstable, and finally north a little ways to Birmingham! Whew!!!

An Obituary for my Father--

Lloyd Z. Maudlin - February 20, 1924 - January 20, 2005
Noted physicist, beloved husband, father, and friend.

"He had a very, very great soul and he made the world bigger everywhere he went." Mike Glyer, Hugo Award winner, upon hearing of Lloyd Maudlin's unexpected death.


Lloyd was born in Miles City, Montana. His mother homesteaded in northern Montana and Lloyd was raised in a log cabin near Rosebud, not far from Maudlin, Montana, which was named after his father Loyd. Every winter the Yellowstone River would freeze and the spring thaw brought massive ice floes that burst up onto the land, flattening everything -even buildings- in their path; the family would retreat to higher ground across the railway embankment and Lloyd had a vivid memory of riding the back of the buckboard, horses racing, while a block of ice ten feet tall gained on them.

The family moved to a farm in Iowa in 1932 but three years later Lloyd's father died and, as the oldest son, Lloyd became the farmer at the age of 11. Despite the hard demands of running a farm through the Depression years, he graduated valedictorian of Ladora High School and then served 30 months in the U.S. Army Air Corps from 1943-46, primarily as the Lead Crew radio operator on a B-24 bomber ("the Liberator") flying missions out of Norwich, England.

In 1946, in fulfillment of his ardent hopes and dreams since first dating her in 1941, Lloyd married his beloved Lauralee Rose and they moved to Los Angeles where Lloyd earned his Bachelor's degree in physics from UCLA in 1949 and his MS in physics from USC in 1952, often studying with his young son on his lap. His thesis on the absorption of thin plastic film in the vacuum ultraviolet resulted in a new discovery and was presented before the American Physical Society in 1955. Lloyd did additional graduate work in physics and engineering at MIT in 1954.

Lloyd's career roughly paralleled the development of the computer: his professional life started in 1951 as a civilian working for the Navy at the Pasadena Annex of the U.S. Naval Ordinance Test Station, China Lake, California, and for the next 30 years he worked for the Navy through various iterations of the name (Naval Oceans System Center, Naval Undersea Center, Naval Undersea Warfare Center, etc.). Lloyd was a pioneer in the use of computers, working with such early computing luminaries as Grace Hopper (co-inventor of COBOL). When he started, "automatic computers" (to differentiate the machines from the men and women whose job title was "computer") filled huge rooms, used vacuum tubes, and were in constant danger of overheating - but a day before his death Lloyd was editing on a PC some of the World War II era love letters he had exchanged with Lauralee.

Lloyd shepherded the development of real-time torpedo simulation (the hydrodynamic simulator), which began as a flight table made from a surplus gun mount controlled by an early analog computer but thirty years later was a highly complex system utilizing a UNIVAC 1110, numerous array processors, ancillary support computers, and versatile graphics terminals. Their expertise in real-time simulation enabled his team to accurately predict outcomes of underwater torpedo performance tests and solve many problems in advance, at a tremendous cost savings to tax payers. He was instrumental in the development of the Polaris missile.

Lloyd was passionate about protecting America and influenced the development of anti-submarine warfare technologies, regularly traveling to Washington D.C. for meetings with elected officials, Naval personnel, and the President's Scientific Advisory Council.

When his meetings with other Navy labs were scheduled in the summer, Lloyd would load up the whole family, now numbering six, and drive cross-country for a month at a time, pulling a 21-foot travel-trailer, stopping to visit relatives still in Iowa. For all his brilliance as a physicist, Lloyd always laughed about his errant sense of direction and on the long road trips he taught all his children to read maps and navigate.

He was awarded a patent in 1964 for a three-dimensional means of describing underwater acoustics. In 1973 the Pasadena lab moved to Point Loma and Lloyd and Lauralee moved to San Diego. In 1979 he led a team of physicists in conducting a study of the Three Mile Island nuclear power plant accident (March, 1979); the committee's recommendations were included in the last Congressional Act signed by President Jimmy Carter.

After retiring from the Navy Lab, Lloyd worked for several small technology companies and his work covered such diverse areas as: the Arctic, including studies of Arctic ice and survival in Arctic weather conditions; the ability of oil platform rescue boats to withstand a drop from the platform into Arctic waters, which might be at zero degrees Fahrenheit; undersea surveillance systems using advanced acoustic techniques; and utilization of desk-top computers on board ships for various command and control problems. He performed systems analysis to predict damage areas associated with explosive/radiation hazards and was responsible for the design of a computer based system to predict surf conditions in selected coastal regions; anti-submarine warfare (ASW) aspects of homeland security; and later conducted a study for the Department of Energy on the practicality of using methane gas recovered from pig farms.

In 2000 the Institute of Electrical and Electronic Engineers (IEEE) awarded him a Millennium Award and in 1984 Lloyd was one of 1,984 recipients of the Centennial Award out of 300,000 members. The morning after September 11, 2001, he received a phone call from Washington D.C. asking what he knew about al-Qaeda.

In the last decade, although Lloyd's professional focus was on counter-terrorism and global warming, he was most proud of his 58 year marriage to Lauralee, his "beautiful redhead," and within the last few years spent much of his time writing his memoirs and transcribing hundreds of pages of their World War II love letters. He delighted greatly in his four children, eight grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren, as well as his church family. He continued to have reunions with his WWII flight crew.

Lloyd always generously served his community, both Los Angeles and San Diego, through involvement with the Boy Scouts of America, the YMCA, and as a founding member and president of the Gifted Children's Association, to name a few. He was a particularly gifted grandfather and, though he could not carry a tune, he could nonetheless sing any fussy grandchild to sleep. His commitment to the United Methodist Church was steadfast, serving the church at the local and District levels, both in Los Angeles and San Diego, in dozens of different ways over his lifetime. He found no conflict between his orthodox Christian beliefs and his observations as a scientist. He noted, "At the high school physics level we understand things and have laws - at the graduate and post-graduate levels there is a real understanding that we really don't know anything; there really are no ultimate 'laws' that we know or understand." One of his favorite quotes came from Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727): "I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."